In a perfect world, each moment of a relationship
would be like that weak-kneed romantic scene in
The English Patient when Ralph Fiennes and Kristin
Scott Thomas finally get together. So what keeps us
from living that swoony, loopy-in-love life? Nothing
more than getting stuck in the same day-in, day-out patterns and letting gushiness shift to the back
burner. Okay, maybe that and the lack of a beautiful
African desert background. Let Cosmo play mushy-
moments director and push you to pack as much
lovey-doveyness as possible into your daily duo.
That means seizing every opportunity to sweeten up even the most seemingly unsentimental times
together.
Here, easy but so-worth-it ways to jump-start both
of your hearts.
Share a Secret Code
Pick a word that's likely to come up occasionally in
conversation (heat, midnight, bedroom, whipped
cream...) and agree that every time someone uses
it, you have to touch — anything from a kiss to a
lingering thigh stroke under the table.
Transform Dinner into Dining
That midweek post-grind meal you devour
together? Make it register off the mush-o-meter
with some tiny adjustments to the atmosphere.
"Pull out your nicest dishes and light a couple of
candles, even if you're just having a mushroom
pizza," suggests Gregory Godek, author of 1001 Ways to Be Romantic (Casablanca Press, 2000). "It's
the mood, not the food, that sets a romantic scene.
So stick a bouquet of daisies from the corner store
in the center of the table, lower the lights, and turn
up Enrique Iglesias or Bessie Smith. You could even
conveniently forget the utensils so you have an excuse to feed each other."
Get Swept Off Your Feet
Make up your own tango moves and groove with
your guy for 15 minutes while you wait for dinner.
Pop in the Marc Anthony CD, then press your
pelvises together, entwine your legs, and twist and
twirl around the living room. "Slow dancing is so
intimate," says Godek. "The way you stand hip-to- hip, block out the world, and sway to each other's
rhythms...now you're really cookin'."
Outlaw Grunge-Wear
You and your guy are having a Blockbuster night.
But wait, think twice before you change into your
lounging-on-the-couch clothes... You know, oversize
T-shirt, shabby sweater. That gear isn't exactly a
recipe for a night of making googly eyes. Instead,
slip into something a little more comfortable but a lot more cuddle-enticing. "A fitted T-shirt or a
semisheer tank top, especially when worn without
a bra, is a lot sexier than some too-big shirt you're
swimming in," says fashion designer and Cosmo
contributing editor Shoshanna Lonstein. "Pair it with
your favorite perfectly worn-out blue jeans or khaki cutoffs for a casual but irresistible look."
Dish with Him Flash
back to the '50s and get passionate over pots
and pans. "Okay, it's totally old-fashioned and
cornball, but I find doing dishes together incredibly
romantic," says Janet, a 28-year-old chiropractor.
"My dishwasher went on the blink one night, and
my boyfriend offered to help clean up. We both rolled up our sleeves and got sudsy in the warm
water. We talked about the places we'd love to
travel to, the crazy things we'd like to try just once
in our lives, and our hands kept touching — we just
got completely lost in each other as we did this
mindless activity. It was so sweet and oddly intimate that I haven't bothered to get the
dishwasher fixed."
Touch Tenderly in Front of the TV
When you're both chilling out in front of the tube,
heat things up with some hands-on action. "Give
each other mini foot massages while watching the
evening news," suggests Laura Corn, author of 101
Nights of Grrreat Romance (Park Avenue
Publishers, 1995). "Or lay your head in his lap and let him stroke your hair." For the ultimate drive-in
date experience, invest in an extralong extension
cord and watch TV outside on the deck or on lawn
chairs on the front stoop underneath the stars.
Flash Him When no one's looking,
give your guy a sneak peek
in public. Granted, it's not exactly violins-in-the-
background romantic, but it's certainly guaranteed
to send his heart (and pulse) soaring.
Send Him a Sweet Afternoon Treat
If you know your guy's facing a particularly
grueling, sucky afternoon at the office, call up a
local restaurant that delivers and send him an I'm-
thinking-about-you lunch, suggests Ilene
Rosenzweig, coauthor of Swell: A Girl's Guide to the
Good Life (Warner Books, 1999). Let him know dessert's waiting at your place later.
Play the Dating Game
Get out of the same old Saturday-night film-and-
food groove. For your next date, come up with
three out-of-the-ordinary evening ideas — perhaps
a starlit ferry ride, a game of mini golf, dinner at a
restaurant with a kind of food you've never tried, or
even seen, before — and write them down on index cards, suggests David D. Coleman, coauthor of
Date Smart! How to Stop Revolving and Start
Evolving in Relationships (Prima Publishing, 1999).
"Then, have your guy blindly choose one of the
cards and embark on a mysterious, exotic
adventure."
Keep Him in the Dark
For the ultimate lights-out love nudge, fake a power
outage. "Unplug the phone, computer, and TV, then
turn off all the lights," instructs Godek. "With nothing
else to distract you, you have no choice but to
break out the candles and cling to each other as
you tell scary ghost stories...or just plain cling to each other."
Ban the Peck
Replace that chaste, no-effort lip graze with a 10-
second smooch — and make every single kiss a bit
of bliss.
Map Out the Hot
Spots in Your Neighborhood Make it your mission to fool around in every prime
passion nook of your neighborhood — behind
trees, on nearby park benches, under a lamppost.
Every time you walk out your front door with your
dream guy, hit one of these desire-designated
areas until you have the whole area PDA'd.
Write Him a Sexy Check
While you're taking care of the bills, take care of
your guy with a personal payment for head-to-toe
kisses, suggests Godek. "Tell him he can cash in
anytime."
Make Out Every Time
You're Alone in an Elevator Use this love-lifter as a cue to sneak in a secret
smooch session.
Read Seductive Stories
to Each Other Pick up a steamy best-seller like Vox, by Nicholson
Baker (it certainly got Monica boiling for Bill), and
take turns reading it aloud. "My boyfriend and I love
sharing juicy novels," says Liz, a 30-year-old
producer. "We'll get in bed or curl up on the couch
and take turns being the narrator. At first I was a bit nervous and rigid — I sounded like Rod Serling
from The Twilight Zone — but eventually I found my
natural rhythm and got really turned on by it. It's so
utterly romantic because we're in this sort of
fantastical fictional world together rather than
sticking our noses in our respective books. And listening to my boyfriend's voice is unbelievably
sexy."
Go Postal Create
some surprising postal passion by mailing I-
want-you notes to your man. Start by telling him
exactly what you love about every part of his body.
Play Barber Babe
Show your man some passionate pampering by
giving him a sensual shave. After his morning
shower, lather up his face with a great-smelling
shaving cream and slide the razor in the direction
the hair grows. "It's a way to steal a very intimate
moment when you're both usually so rushed to get out the door," says Kelly, a 26-year-old massage
therapist who loves to groom her guy. "Not to
mention the perfect excuse to straddle him."
Tempt Him with a Slew
of Where-to-Find-You Clues Make your usual rendezvous a million times racier
by keeping them mysterious for your man. "I have
a standing Friday-evening drink date with my
boyfriend," says Sue, a 27-year-old tax attorney.
"To keep it exciting, I have this trick for spicing
things up: I send him on a treasure hunt...to find me. I pick an obscure, out-of-the-way bar, one we'd
never normally go to in a million years. Then every
hour on the hour during the workday, I send my
boyfriend an e-mail feeding him clues about where
I want him to meet me that night — little riddles
that hint at the name, landmarks that will lead him to the location. When he puts all the pieces
together, he finds me waiting in the most private
booth I can find. Now he's scheming up the next
mystery meeting."
Hold the Sports Section
Hostage Steal the paper before your guy gets a chance to check out the scores. Place a ransom note on his pillow and insist that your demands for a.m. sex,
smooching, and snuggling be met before you'll
consider giving him access to the stats.
Outlaw Work Talk
Make office gripes and groans a taboo topic when
having dinner with your doll. "My boyfriend and I
make meals our time," says Anne, a 29-year-old
furniture maker. "We talk about upcoming
vacations, friends, movies — anything that lets us
share ideas instead of bombarding each other with tales of work woes. After eight hours of focusing on
other people on the job, it's such a luxurious treat to
indulge in some time that's all about us." If
professional topics accidentally pop up, quash them
by saying, "Get your mind out of the grind and back
onto me."
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Give Him an All-Day
"Scentual" Reminder "The next time your guy sleeps over, spritz a small item of clothing — scarf, underwear, camisole — with your signature fragrance, and slyly slip it into his briefcase or backpack," suggests author Corn.
"With your sexy scent wafting out every time he
reaches into his bag, he won't be able to take his mind off of you." When the clock strikes 5, he'll
follow his nose all the way to your front door.
Get a Sound Track
Create your relationship repertoire by picking a few
favorite songs (a sentimental score, a sultry in-the-
mood croon, a sassy "Feel the Earth Move"-type
number) that really capture the essence of your
couplehood and make them yours by playing them
on romantic, sexy occasions.
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Compliment Each Other
in Public "My girlfriend tells everyone that I'm the most
talented person she's ever met," says Andrew, 28,
a teacher. "She'll tell a cashier, 'We'll take a
chocolate brownie because my guy so deserves it.'
When she introduces me, she says, 'This is my
hilariously funny boyfriend' or 'Meet my handsome boyfriend. He puts George Clooney to shame.' My
heart jumps every time. I swear it makes going to
the deli sexy."
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